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- Do you tell yourself you have bad habits?
Do you tell yourself you have bad habits?
Here's why this is keeping you stuck.
Kelsey Schaefer
September 13, 2024
I watched a video the other day where a woman stepped up to the microphone to ask for guidance from a man giving a public speech.
When she introduced her question, she started with…
“I have a tendency to…”
The man immediately stopped her and said…
“You have a what?”
She looked embarrassed and said again…
“Well…I said I have a tendency.”
His response inspired me to take notes, and now write an entire article on this topic.
You are making choices.
“You don’t have tendencies…
you don’t have habits…
and you don’t have patterns…
once you know you have them.
A habit is something you do that you don’t know you’re doing.
Once you know it’s there, it’s not a tendency—it’s a choice, if you keep doing it.
You’re choosing it because you believe that it’s the beneficial thing to do.
Sometimes, it can be as simple as choosing something that’s more familiar instead of what is unknown to you because the unknown seems scarier—because the thing you don’t prefer is more comfortable and more familiar.
Understand that you can change the definition of the unknown.
Because I guarantee you, there is absolutely nothing you will ever discover in the unknown that isn’t simply more of yourself.
So, when you define it that way, you will see that going into the unknown isn’t scary—it’s actually more beneficial.
And you will move forward and no longer experience the idea of being a victim to “habit.”
Have you ever said anything like…
“I have a habit of…”
“I can’t help but...”
“I tend to…”
“I always end up…”
“It’s just how I am.”
These phrases make it seem like whatever you’re doing is outside of your control. It’s your brain’s way of placing the blame on something else other than yourself, and calling it a “habit.”
We give way too much power to the idea of habits—when in reality, we only keep the habits we choose to keep.
The truth is, it’s our perspectives that keep us stuck. Just as we discussed in last week’s post about taking responsibility for your thoughts, many of us avoid owning our choices.
When we notice ourselves doing something that we’re not proud of and we label it as a “bad habit,” we’re treating it like it’s out of our control.
We’re giving ourselves an excuse to keep doing the same behaviour, even though we know it’s not what we want—hence why we give it a label (“bad habit”).
As long as we keep calling something a habit, a tendency, or a pattern, we’re choosing to be helpless instead of empowered.
But the moment we acknowledge that our actions are choices, we open the door to change.
Pay attention to how often you allow yourself to place blame, instead of owning your choices.
Here are some examples of what this sounds like…
“I have a habit of going to bed too late.”
“I can’t help but fall back into old ways.”
“I tend to eat junk food when I’m stressed.”
“I always end up attracting toxic people.”
“It’s just how I am.”
The next time you catch yourself blaming a habit like this, pause and ask yourself:
“What am I really choosing right now?”
Whether it’s unhealthy eating or procrastination, or a deeper pattern like self-doubt or playing the victim—know that you are choosing to stay in your “comfort zone” because it feels safer than stepping into the unknown and changing.
The lesson is simple: once you know, the responsibility is yours. The habit loses its hold, and it’s up to you to change your behaviour or stay where you’ve always been.
Habits only have the power we give them. What you do with that awareness is your choice.
This is where real, life-changing growth happens—not when you overcome the habit, but when you realize that it was always up to you.
You have the power to rewrite your patterns, but first you have to own them.
It’s not about eliminating bad habits—it’s about choosing better actions that move you closer to the version of yourself that you really want to be.
If you’re committed to
working for yourself
AND progressing in fitness,
we’ve just launched our inspired idiots community
to help people like you
network and figure out
exactly how to actually make that happen.
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