How to master YOU and stop seeking approval.

I listened to this quote over and over again the other day, and I want to talk about it—one line in particular…

"You must understand that people can only understand us at the depth in which they have met themselves.”
Oof!
This line.

What this means is that a person's ability to truly understand and connect with others is limited by their own level of self-awareness and personal growth.

In other words, if someone hasn’t taken the time to explore their own emotions, values, and experiences on a deeper level, they’re probably not going to appreciate the complexities of another person's thoughts and feelings.

It’s like trying to read a book when you only know a few words—you can only understand it to the level of your own knowledge.

If you’ve gone through a tough personal journey and came out stronger, you probably have a deep understanding of resilience. But someone who hasn’t faced similar experiences may not fully appreciate what you've been through.

This isn’t because they don’t care; it’s simply because their understanding is limited by their own experiences and level of self-reflection.

Example: I recently wrote an article about how I used to be really judgmental about the way some people dressed in the gym.
I explain how I spent most of my life hating my body, my experience of being bulimic, and how I’ve grown to LOVE looking at my body today.

If you’re someone who’s experienced insecurity, self-hatred, or body dysmorphia—you’re MUCH more likely to appreciate this article.

Some people who have never experienced this won’t get it, they will judge, and they might even leave comments telling me that I’m wrong (which people did).

I don’t care about those people’s negative words, because I know that they just haven’t learned this for themselves yet.

This can be frustrating, but it also reminds us that it’s important to be patient and to not rely on others to make you feel accepted. Everyone is on their own journey, and not everyone will be able to meet you at the level you’re at.

So, rather than relying on others who might not have the depth to fully understand you, focus on your own journey and understanding yourself.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to see if you seek approval from others…

1. When I make decisions, do I often worry about what others will think or say about them?

2. Do I wait for others to compliment or acknowledge my achievements before I feel proud of them?

3. Do I feel anxious or uncomfortable when someone disagrees with my opinion?

4. Do I feel more confident or worthy when I receive positive feedback?

5. Do I behave differently around different groups of people?

6. Am I more concerned with how many “likes” or comments I receive on social media than with how I genuinely feel about what I share?

7. Do I feel hurt or disappointed when people don’t notice my efforts?

8. Do I take criticism personally and let it affect my self-esteem?

9. Do I ask advice or reassurance from others before making a decision?

10. Am I more focused on meeting others’ expectations than on what I truly want my life to look like?

If you answered YES to more than 5 of these, then you too seek external validation, my friend.

But hey—we all kind of do on some level.

Awareness is the first step.

One simple thing I’ve done that’s helped me re-wire my brain on this is to write down one thing that I feel proud of about myself every day.

Daily reflection doesn’t need to be a 10-minute task.
It can literally take you 30 seconds to answer any of these types of questions…

• What do I like about myself?

• What’s one thing about my personality that I’m proud of?

• What’s one thing about my appearance that I appreciate?

• What’s one thing I worked for and accomplished?

• What’s something I’m getting better at?

• What’s one thing I’ve done recently that I felt good about?

• Did I do anything yesterday that was kind?

You get the idea.

When you start paying more attention to what YOU think of you, your worries about other people’s opinions will start falling away.

I can’t tell you what a FREEING experience it is to do that,
you need to just experience it for yourself.

Your journey is yours alone, and you can choose to live it in a way that feels true to you.

People’s ability to understand or support you is limited by their own self-awareness, so don’t let their perceptions dictate your path.

You are the architect of your reality—so, design it with intention.

If you’re committed to
working for yourself
AND progressing in fitness,
we’ve just launched our inspired idiots community
to help people like you
network and figure out
exactly how to actually make that happen.