What exactly are you chasing?

I come up with the topics for these newsletters by reading books from people who are much wiser than I am.

When I scan something that makes me stop and think,
“Damn—that’s good”
I’ll add it to a note in my phone, and revisit that list when I sit down to write.

Full transparency: I cannot remember which book or author I pulled this exercise from.
But nonetheless, I believe it’s worth talking about.

Here it is:

“Sit down with a pen and ask yourself “What do I really want?” And write it down.
Then make a written description of it in the present tense.
Writing causes thinking.
Thinking creates an image.
And when you get these images going, you’re building a vision in your mind.
It’s the visionaries that change the world.”

We’re going to break it down together, and help you figure out what exactly you’re looking for in your life.

1. Find a quiet place where you’ll be undisturbed for 20 minutes.

2. Get a pen and paper, or a blank document on your computer (closing ALL other tabs first. Yeah, I see you).

3. Write at the top of the page, “What do I really want?”
   Take a deep breath, focus on the feeling in your fingertips, and start writing.
   If it’s a list of things, that’s cool. If it’s one thing, write it with as much detail as comes to your mind.

4. Now, take those desires and write them in the present tense.
   We’re writing as though it’s already happening.
   Really imagine yourself in that scenario, having accomplished this desire. Picture the details as vividly as you can.
   How does it feel? What are you doing? Who is with you?

5. Finally, ask yourself, “Will this make me feel happy forever, or might I get used to it and want something else?”

Do you know any person who would say that they have everything they want?
They don’t want any more money…
any more love…
any more achievements…
anything at all.

If you do, I’d like to meet this person.

Because, here’s the thing:
What we want changes as our life does, and we never stop wanting that next thing.

Feeling like we’re working toward something gives us a sense of purpose.
That pursuit is what makes life feel worth living.

We fantasize about attaining something, we put in the effort to make it happen, and then we live in the bliss of having that thing.

But how long does that bliss last?

If you’ve ever heard of the term “hedonic adaptation” you’ll know that this bliss usually lasts a few weeks to a few months.

Hedonic adaptation means that we are constantly getting used to the way our lives change. Our feelings go back to “normal” after something really good or really bad happens.

The most important thing to understand here is this:
getting something you really want,
like a bigger house or more money,
might make you happy at first, but that happiness does not last.

Over time, you get used to the newness, and your happiness goes back to how it was before.

So, the way we step off of this hedonic hamster wheel is by getting clear on two things:

1. What exactly it is we think we’re lacking, and

2. What we think that thing will give us that we don’t already have.

This exercise helps you do that.

We’re always chasing something in life—and that’s okay.

But we need to get clear on what we really want, otherwise we’ll always be on that hedonic hamster wheel.

This exercise reminds us that external achievements and possessions may give you temporary happiness…

but real fulfillment is something you give yourself permission to have.

If you’re committed to
working for yourself
AND progressing in fitness,
we’ve just launched our inspired idiots community
to help people like you
get the clarity and focus you need
to actually make that happen.