Breaking Busy: Confronting Fear to Find Fulfillment

Let me ask you a question:
Do you feel that your life is full?

I’d imagine that your mind went one of two ways. You either thought something like…

1. “Heck yes it’s full! My day’s are usually so busy, I barely have time to pee!”

or something along the lines of…

2. “Yes my life is full — I feel a lot of fulfillment in the work I do, I have so much to be grateful for, and I’m becoming who I’ve always wanted to be.”

Which was it? I’ll bet it was the first.

Why?

Because we live in a society where being crazy busy is seen as a badge of honour.

It’s acceptable to work a full-time job while trying to be a great parent who also stays on top of groceries and car payments and appointments.

But do you ever stop to ask yourself why?

Why does it feel like I always have a list of things to do, and yet I am not where I really want to be in my life?

But then, you probably already know the answer — don’t you?

I was raised by two people who seemed to never have enough time for themselves.

Their interests, passions, and personal-development seemed to come in last place on the list of priorities. And I think they both resented it in their own way.

I watched my dad wake up every day for a job that seemed to drain his joy.

He’d gotten into the auto industry because he loved working with cars, but he’d accepted promotions over the years that shifted him to dealing with employees instead of engines.

And despite feeling unfulfilled for the last couple decades of his career, he’d be out of the house before the rest of us were up and home last every evening.

My mom, I think, enjoyed her job a little more, but she was constantly busy with things that probably felt more like obligations than passions.

Does this sound familiar to you?
This underlying complaint of:
“If I had full control over my time, I’d spend it doing things I enjoy.”

But…would you?
Because…don’t you?

If you find yourself “busy” all the time, yet you’re not the version of you you’d like to be — have you ever asked yourself,

“What the fuck am I filling up my entire life with?”

Most of us subscribe to a life of superficial busyness.

We spend our days doing things we feel we should do, and keep postponing the things we’d really like to see ourselves do.

Why? I think because we’re afraid of…

1. Other people’s opinions. What if I’m a bad parent because I’d like my kids to stay at school for lunch?
   Would my partner think less of me if I decided to take a course in the evenings instead of making dinner?

2. Possible failure. What if I take the leap and can’t make this work?
   What if I’m actually not that talented?

Simply put: to avoid feeling this discomfort, we stay “busy” with things that don’t align with our goals.

We fill our week with tasks that don’t get us closer to where we want to be, but give us something to focus on.

I can’t tell you how often I hear some variation of
“I don’t have time to take this course to learn a skill that I’m interested in because I have kids and a job and housework.”

To whoever needs to hear this: your world will not end if you prioritize your self growth.

We can all relate to this in some way. You’ve probably used “busy” as an excuse to not step out of your comfort zone.

If you think I’m wrong, here’s an exercise to see…

1. Grab a piece of paper and draw two vertical lines, creating three columns.

2. Title the left column TASK, the middle PASSION, and the right one OBLIGATION / FEAR.

3. In the TASK column, jot down all your daily activities and commitments in a typical week. Include everything from errands, work, and average hours spent on your phone.

4. For each task, answer this question: “Am I doing this because it aligns with my goals and passions? Or am I doing it out of obligation or fear?”

5. If it’s a passion task, put a ❤️ in the middle column.
   If not, put a ✔️ in the right column.

   
   

Most of us live in a state of autopilot. We put our heads down and work hard. Then suddenly, years have gone by — yet we’re still not any closer to living our dream life.

We spend time on things that don’t fulfill us
because we think we’re supposed to
because it’s what everyone around us does.

We’re so uncomfortable with the thought of failing or being judged that we choose to live unsatisfied lives because it’s normal. It’s easier.

The hardest part about going after what you really want is this:
not giving into the pressure to be like everyone else.

It’s harder to believe that you’re made for something more and you CAN become what you want to be.
But it’s only hard until you start proving to yourself that it’s possible for you.

Everything feels impossible until you do it. Once you commit to making your growth a priority, you’ll look back and realize you were just making excuses for yourself. It felt safer that way.

Personally, I don’t want to look back on my life list and see more checkmarks than hearts.
I think that sounds harder.

Spend a few minutes looking at how much time you’re spending on things that don’t fulfill you or move you toward your goals.

Which ones are really nonnegotiable priorities?

What small changes can you make to start creating a life that you wouldn’t want to fill with meaningless business?

Ask yourself,
“Am I using ‘busy’ as an excuse to not do something I’d actually love? Am I just avoiding stepping out of my comfort zone? Am I scared to fail?”

I can promise you that when you trade feeling busy for feeling excited and passionate about something — everything else in your life will find a way to work around it.

And you will feel a lot happier in the process.

If you’re committed to the journey of…
growing every day
to become your ideal self
and making this life an exciting adventure
through business, fitness, and relationships
join other inspired idiots like you!