Betting on myself felt risky—until it didn’t

Did you also believe that being “full of yourself” was a bad thing?
Me too. Here’s how it’s holding you back.

Welcome to Inspired Idiots. Today, we’re unlearning the idea that it’s safer to doubt yourself than to believe you’re going to win. If you’ve ever changed your behavior for fear of what other people will think—this one’s for you👇

THINK OF IT LIKE THIS

Growing up, we were taught that being cocky—believing in yourself too much—was a bad thing. Confidence made people uncomfortable, so we learned to downplay our strengths.

As time passed, we began to believe that we weren't capable of doing big things.

In middle school, I remember watching a girl get shamed for saying she loved her long eyelashes. And at the time, I felt relieved she was put in her place.

Why? Because self-confidence was weird. Self-doubt was safer because it was relatable.

Looking back, it’s no wonder our generation has enough self-doubt to keep therapists booked for life.

WHY THIS MATTERS

Think back to when you were a kid shouting, “Watch me!” at the playground. Back then, you genuinely believed you could do anything.

Then school happened. The number one lesson? Sit down, be quiet, blend in.

Classrooms of 25+ kids couldn’t handle the chaos of independent thinking. We learned that going too fast or too slow wasn’t okay, and standing out? That would get you labeled as a “try-hard” or a “nerd.”

Fast-forward to adulthood, and it makes sense why you’re scared to bet on yourself. We were trained to wait for permission, ask for validation, and do what everyone else is doing.

STRATEGY

THE “ME OR THEM” CHECK-IN

When you feel self-doubt creeping in, pause and ask yourself:
“Is this fear about my own ability, or about what others will think?”

Then, dig deeper:

• “Would I still feel worried if no one else’s opinions mattered?”

• “Am I holding back to avoid being judged for failing—or even for succeeding?”

• “Am I shrinking myself to make others more comfortable?”

If you realize your hesitation is about them rather than you—it’s a sign.

You deserve to trust your potential, take up space, and live life on your own terms—not theirs.

EXAMPLES

One memory sticks with me: walking into my high school chemistry class after passing my driving test, excited and proud.

The guy next to me said, “Okay, great. You don’t need to brag.”

I instantly felt guilty, like I’d done something wrong.

If I’d done this “Me or Them” check-in back then, that comment wouldn’t have crushed my excitement.

I would’ve kept basking in the glow of my achievement instead of shrinking to make others feel comfortable.

WHY IT WORKS

We were taught to call it humility, but shrinking kept us from tapping into our full potential.

When you’re not “full of yourself,” you live half-empty.

Do you know what half-empty people do? They settle—for jobs they don’t like, unfulfilling relationships, and a life that barely scratches the surface of their dreams.

Self-belief isn’t arrogance. It’s the fuel that drives you to create the life you actually want. It’s the engine that powers a life worth living.

When I started focusing on what I liked about myself, and identifying what I didn’t like, I started taking actions that make me proud.

Sometimes that results in me doing things that other people wouldn’t do—so I have to be okay with some people not “getting” me.

I had to stop waiting for permission to just live in a way that feels right—even if that doesn’t make sense to people.

When I finally stopped doubting myself, everything shifted.

• I left the 9-5 life and built a business

• I got engaged to my best friend, and

• I became someone I actually feel proud to be.

TAKEAWAY

Next time you’re tempted to doubt yourself, ask: “Am I shrinking to make others feel safe?”

Then take one action that helps you bet on your own potential.

You deserve to live full—not half-empty.

Reply and share how the “Me or Them” Check-In worked for you. I’d love to hear your story!

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