Do you ask questions or tell stories?

I realized somewhere in my mid-20s that I didn’t really like myself.

I didn’t walk into rooms feeling happy and confident
because I didn’t feel proud of the person I’d become
or where I was in my life,
so why would I feel confident?

That got me thinking about what really makes a person confident.
Like, how do you build the skill of confidence?

I’m pretty sure I’ve figured it out now:

Confidence is a result of believing that when you set your mind to something, you know you’ll get it.

It comes from proving yourself to yourself
over and over and over again.

Slowly growing that muscle of working for what you want, then achieving it!

If that sounds too good to be true to you, stay with me here.
Because making this change isn’t actually hard.

For me, it came down to asking myself,
“Am I making an effort, or am I making an excuse?”

This can be broken down even more simply to
asking questions or telling stories.

Think about a time when you were in a learning environment, surrounded by other learners.

Maybe the last time for you was in school, or university, or a post-grad course.

Now, think about the person who seemed like the top student.
Would you say that person raised their hand a lot?
I’m guessing so.

Now compare the idea of that person to that of the “My dog ate my homework” type.

One excels, the other falls behind.

This is important: the person who asks questions is the one who accomplishes the goal—because they’re really involved in their learning.

They aren't just sitting there listening…
they're thinking about what they're learning…
making sense of it…
and trying to understand it better.

By asking questions, they’re getting clearer answers, looking at things in new ways, and becoming smarter and more skilled.

The person who makes excuses is just telling stories about why they didn’t do what they were supposed to.
They might say things like, “I didn’t have enough time,” or, “I’m just not good at this.”
These excuses might make them feel better for a little while, but they don’t solve the problem or help them reach their goals. Instead, they stay stuck, thinking they can’t get better.

When you start asking questions instead of making excuses, you feel more powerful because you’re taking control.
Questions help you figure out what to do next.

1. Think of something about you that you’re not proud of.

Maybe you’re not proud of your job.
Maybe it’s your body.
Or maybe it’s your relationship with your partner.

2. Now imagine I’m sitting in front of you, asking you:
   “What’s stopping you from changing it?”
   
   What would your immediate response be?
   Would you start going into a story?
   

3. Instead of focusing on why it’s hard or why you haven’t succeeded yet, ask yourself questions like:

• What can I do today to move closer to my goal?

• Who can I ask for help or advice?

• What resources are available to me?

When you choose to swap telling stories for asking questions, you make progress faster and begin to believe that you really can accomplish anything with the right knowledge.

Instead of saying,
“I can’t do this,”
someone who asks questions would say,
“What do I need to learn to be able to do this?”

This change in thinking helps turn problems into opportunities,
and ultimately gets you where you’re trying to go.

If you’re committed to
working for yourself
AND progressing in fitness,
we’ve just launched our inspired idiots community
to help people like you
get the clarity and focus you need
to actually make that happen.